I've Been Breathing WHAT???!!!

Most of you know appliances and me are like oil and water -- we don't mix well.  Whatever appliance I have is guaranteed to either break or malfunction.  Trust me on this.

In mid December we replaced the last appliance in this house that hadn't gone kaput -- the gas hot water heater.  Fortunately, we caught it at the slight leak stage, not the 50-gallon flood stage (been there, done that, got the flippin' merit badge). 

Out comes our handy-dandy Appliance Company/Plumber/Heater/AC/All-Around Do Everything With Appliances Company to take away old gas hot water heater and install new "energy-efficient" gas hot water heater and charge us the equivalent of a mortgage payment.  Ouch.  Woot.  It's done.  I can breathe easier...and do the dishes once more.

The day before Christmas we receive a postcard in the mail from our County Plumbing Inspector notifying us that the "Company" took out a permit to install the gas hot water heater.  Thus, the County must come inspect.

This morning (27 Dec 2010) a rather surly fellow appears at my door.  "Good morning," I say in my chipper voice.  "D'ya know that having your water hose still attached to your faucet out front means in Spring that faucet will break?" he snarls at me.   "You must be Scott," I reply, my teeth beginning to grind. 

I yell upstairs for Devoted Spouse....no answer.  Scott-the-Inspector says, "I can find it by myself."  With my happy face...I flipped on the basement light and said, "Knock yourself out." 

I returned to my Twittering and Frittering.

Devoted Spouse meanders to the basement in search of  Scott-the-Inspector.  I hear rumbles and grumbles and heavy footsteps.  Ruh-Roh.

Scott-the-Inspector whips out his cell phone and makes a call.  Looks at me in my comfy chair and mutters something about a pipe not installed correctly and he has to call a plumber.  Oopsie - we failed inspection.

Oopsie again -- Scott-the-Installer called the wrong plumber.  Snort.  The correct installers are on their way.  Devoted Spouse is leaving to volunteer at church.  That's a good thing because he doesn't want to be here when the "Company" arrives.  This redheaded-stepchild is workin' up quite a head of steam -- you see for the past few weeks we have been living in a house and breathing what Scott-the-Inspector terms, "gas exhaust".  Now I realize that's not the same as a gas leak -- but it can't be good. The "Company" Field Rep and the General Manager for their Plumbing Operations WILL be accompanying the repair crew today.  Don't mess with the red-headed stepchild... Oh Crap on a Crutch.


That space right above the bottom rung of crutch is a separation in the pipe.  Nasty!



The Fail here is the white cap above the water heater but below that silver pipe should not be tilting downward

Technology 1; Woman 0

All I wanted to do was open my 2 new CDs of Eric Clapton and Bon Jovi - how hard can that be?  Ya know that little pull thingie that's red and like a teeeny tiny string on the edge of the CD and you pull it and the plastic comes off?  Well, it doesn't.  I managed to get the outer plastic off both CDs with just a little frustration.  Then on the top edge is another "Pull Here" sign.  I pulled there and did that strip along the edge come off enabling me to open my CD?  Of course not.  One little piece at a time, 15 minutes, many little pieces of plastic and a broken nail later I finally had both CD's open and ready to load into my mp3 player.  Oh, sure I could have used a knife.  That would have been the easy way...plus the last time I used a knife to open a CD not only did I poke my palm bloody, I broke the CD case. Amazing.  Oh crap on a crutch!

Snap! Look What I Did

There I was...the perfect shot all ready...nobody was breathing...EmmaLou was in an award-winning position...this was going to be the picture to end all pictures.. The Nikon was set perfectly -- all the little F-stop thingies, etc. at their proper place...She points...she doublechecks the lens cap is off...she aims...she presses the little button...and this comes up:

SHUTTER RELEASE DISABLED.  RECHARGE BATTERY

Oh crap on a crutch.

Maybe Omaha Steaks Need to Diet...

Went to my fav place...Omaha Steaks to pick up some manly-man carnivorous red meat for Devoted Spouse and some fabulous marinated salmon for me.  We have that new, terribly-expensive-not-quite-paid-for-yet French Door refrigerator as my 11 faithful readers from Crone and Bear It are aware.  We unpack the large bag of foodstuffs and begin to put the boxes (yes Omaha Steaks packs all its food in nice cardboard boxes) into the freezer.  But the boxes are too large to fit in the freezer so out they come.  Devoted Spouse opens all the boxes and I had to do the magic freezer prayer (Dear Lord, please make this stuff fit, Amen) to get all the individual steaks and salmon goodies squished into the freezer compartment.  Did I mention it took forever to unpack all the goodies and then find room for the now-individual packages in the freezer?    Oh crap on a crutch.

Let Me Introduce You to the Golden Destroyer

My 11 faithful readers of Crone and Bear It know I am owned by an adorable 6 year old Golden Retriever named EmmaLou - whom I refer to as my Golden Destroyer.  She has her own page at my home blog and you can see and read some of her adventures over there.  But today since this is my Crap page, I will share with you her latest round of shenanigans.  Because she tends to rip up my furniture with her nails, or chews on the cushions and I have to keep replacing couches, I went to one of my favorite hangouts Le Tarzhay and found a lovely and large dog bed for her.  Now this was not a $10.99 bed; no, it cost me the equivalent of a nice lunch for 3 at The Cheesecake Factory.  But she is my precious pup and deserves comfort in a bed.  It took awhile for her to understand that the couch was not her bed; her bed was now that huge blue plaid matressy-looking thing on the floor.  Once she got used to it, she found it was comfy.  Her mama even gave her an old couch pillow for her head.  (Awwwww)  Problem:  EmmaLou became bored one day and decided to look for buried treasure in her new bed.  She ripped apart one side and proceeded to pull out the stuffing; some of which she ate as a tasty snack.  EmmaLou then decided to reclaim her rightful place back on the family room couch. In the pics below you will see her at her bed contemplating eating the stuffing she has just torn out and also the return to her "rightful bed".    Oh crap on a crutch.